#@&**&$^*@^$(%&)

my mom is serious about me resigning.
FUCK.
i really don't want to.

plus, o'level results are coming out soon. i don't think i'm ready for that just yet.

and more stupid shit has happened.
FUCKIT.

i seriously cannot stand the incompetence around me.
and, i swear. i hate those damn taxi drivers. and, i would def. never ever take merc cabs. too damn bloody slow.

one must stop eating late at night.

okay. shall not rant. it's as tho that i'm doing that alot.

i feel that i'm changing rapidly. i don't know why. but, i'm not staying my same old sane self anymore. i'm going a lil nuts inside with all those insignificant thoughts.

one shall not think too much till one gets entirely confussed and fed up. and, one becomes delusionised
; if there's such a word at all.

one shall also be more tolerant as well as more hardworking.
(if there's a link to both factors, one has no idea.)

one shall also stick to one's plan without diverting.

and you know what? my mom wants me to resign.cause i come home real late at night. but, for me, i have no idea what my decision would be. all i know is taht i do not want to quit. not just yet.
-

anyways, was that fate or just my delusionised thoughts.

-

someone please help me.

F U C K

firstly. i think i'm so going to gain the weight that i lost, just by eating dinner at twelve everynight, and bathing right after and then sleeping. very unhealthy i know. plus i don't bother to dry my hair after i bathe. a big no no right there. and at that, i'm falling ill. and all those uncertain times that eventually eat at work. sometimes eating nothing until i get home, others eating and eating some more at home. nuts. and, i recently became addicted to tea. "tea si/o". whatev. man. all that condensed and evaporated milk.

i suddenly feel so entirely depressed.

and, i just remembered that i have to attend the chalet tomorrow and i stupidly forgot and agreed to work another shift tomorrow. someone should tattoo the letters S, T, U, P and S on my forehead right now. i feel so bad by not attending all those class-ish functions, so i had better attend this one.

and man, i dropped my wallet somewhere today. with tonnes of my birthday cash, i/c, atm card et cetra. damn man. it had better be in the store.

and, you know. i just realised something. i'm writing so differently right now. it's as tho i have changed somehow. damn.

anyways, i have a new manager. more about her some other time. i have to report to work at 10.15 and i still have not batherd or whatever yet.

so, night.

and, i've realised how delirious i'm becoming.

TIRED.

well, so much for doing something with my hair before my birthday.

my next off day. definitely.

you know what. it's all so stupid. it's my off day today and i have to go back to work. why? it's all because of a really stupid belt.

anyways. i guess i had a pretty fine birthday. i thank all of you, especially to you who specially dropped by my place. ((:

and, having my birthday dinner at the supreme court wasn't that bad either. HAHA. and that private tour was amazing. the view from the spaceship was absolutely breathtaking. and i absolutely adore the architecture of it all.

and, congrats to kenny and ferdinand.

freda, i will miss you so much. you better come back in feb. i don't care!!! ((: and i'm sorry.

there meiwen, you got your update.

that thing you do; baby.

i have no idea.

should i be a cliche and do this resolution thing? cause, you know what? i know that i definitely will not carry it through. so much for the resolutions of 2006. haha.

what i really wanna do, i guess it's to lose abit of control. if there's actually such a thing in the first place; or if i'm actually in control for that matter. i guess i want tonnes of things for twothousandseven; but i'm thinking, is it actually possible?

looking back, i'm thinking, was 2006 just wasted away? i have no idea. it feels as tho that i just wasted it the whole way; no accomplishments whatsoever. i pick that one year to not give a damn about anything. that was dumb.

anyways; what to do now? we shall not fret over the past should we? it's not like there's actually a way to turn back time either right?

i'm thinking of what to wear for the wedding. i definitely need a new dress. and, no xuan, i'm NOT going to wear that black dress. again.

i know that this post is kinda not cohesive at all. forgive me. there's tonnes to write and not enough time or for me to think things through or think of one coherent thought at this point of time. too many dimensions. i think.

i should post some pictures up shouldn't i? but, that reminds me; i have not uploaded them yet. smart me. my next off day; i'm just going to laze at home. i'm too tired. i really need to just relax i think. and give my feet and head a rest. the whole day in pjs. ((:

ttyl.

NEWYEAR'Stwothousandandseven.

okay, update. so sorry. i was/am very busy.

it's finally january again.

MY BIRTHDAY'S COMING UP! ((:

and kenny's and ferdinand's wedding.

freda's coming back for the last time this month for a very long time. =(

anyways, yesterday's newyear's countdown was.. i don't know what to say. a lil mahfan so to speak. and i met timmy for the first time in i think two or three years. man, how much he has grown from that guy in geeky specs. stups. sports school with only fifteen hours of school a week. if i knew, i should have stuck with golf. he's suddenly so charismatic and, meiwen, he looks SO much like you. seriously. and, his hair is at least much better now. and, you know what meiwen, he even behaves like you!. unbelievable.

anyways, speaking of hair, i need to do something about mine! i still have no idea what to do about it. i think i shall do something about it before my birthday. any opinions?

these past few weeks have been killer. i have like no time for myself anymore. damn. i think i should resign soon. and, i'm still waiting for my lunch date! you guys said that you would come to visit me; i'm still waiting!

anyways, happy new year you guys. i've got work tomorrow at tenthirty. how am i to wake up?